Ellen Degeneres has added another job to her extensive resume: United States Postal Service spokesperson. Check out her new ad:
"Licking Stamps isn't so bad. Trust me, I KNOW about licking."
"Stamps? I've licked worse.."
All kidding aside, Ellen is speaking on behalf of the Stamps to the Rescue, a project to help feed and care for shelter animals until they can be adopted. When you purchase stamps, Halo pet food provides meals to shelters. According to the website, here is how it works:
In celebration of the new Animal Rescue: Adopt a Shelter Pet stamps, the Postal Service™, together with Ellen DeGeneres and Halo: Purely for Pets, is giving shelter pets around the country a First-Class Meal.
During the launch of the stamps, Halo will be donating a million meals to animal shelters around the country.
Much has been made of secret societies and backroom conspiracies. Perhaps you have heard of the mythical Illuminati and how they have influenced the directions of Nations. I have no proof of their existence or lack thereof, but I do know of a vast population of people who have influenced recent events in our history. I call them the Illiterati: a loose confederation of people joined by their ignorance of history and inability to spell correctly. At first, their only goal was to establish a new word order and systematically pull apart English grammar rules. Now they have found a place of influence in political realms and they will use it to bring their particular brand of chaos to the main stream.
Though not the product of social media or the current texting craze, the Illiterati use these modern technologies to rapidly disseminate false information across the country and around the world. Finally organized by powerful politicians, they were a major player in the election of President Barack Obama--possibly the most incompetent president since Jimmy Carter. Obama was elected for his charisma and ability to mobilize the Illiterati rather than his experience and qualifications to lead as the chief Executive of the United States.
Now that they have been exposed as a powerful force, expect them to be lead like sheep by the next charismatic puppet put forth by the political elite. Mockazine thinks that the Illiterati are ripe to be the subject of a book destined to be a NY Times best seller with a cover that would look something like this:
The Illiterati carry similar symbolism to the Illuminati to include a pyramid and a source of light. Instead of an all-seeing eye; however, the Illiterati have all-seeing cross-eyes unable to perceive the natural order of things. The Illiterati are here and they are a product of our education system. Who will teach them the truth?
Famous, popular, always in good taste . . . and get a look at those buns. Amber Gerr is one hot dish; but who is Amber Gerr on the inside? At first impression, she seems fresh and almost bursting with juicy gossip, but once you get to really know her, you find a beefy intellect with a slice of cheesy humor.
At times she can be tender, like a tomato. Other times, she revealse a "pungent as an onion" sense of sarcasm. Her personality is a medley of flavors that most find pleasing. Fashionable enough to appear at fine restaurants, but humble enough to show up at the local fast-food joint, she is the every-woman. Making appearances at bar-b-ques, fundraisers, and awards banquets, she is always a crowd pleaser. Let her linger more than a few hours, though, and you may find that she becomes cold and stale.
Amber Gerr. Her biggest fans spend time with her daily. Get to know her and you will want to meat with her on a regular basis too.
Have you tried Wordle? I input Mockazine.com and the site analyzes my text to create a word art of the most frequently used words. Somehow, last month, the most prominent words were "botox" and "believe". I'm not sure what that says about me.