Mockazine

Welcome to California

I spent this New Year's Eve with family from California.  My brother-in-law was particularly excited to shoot fireworks because they are illegal where he lives.  The family put on quite a show.

Conversation turned to other California laws like the San Francisco law against free Happy Meal toys.  It seems that California is against anything fun except when that fun is below the belt.

I'm sure glad I don't live in California.

Victim urinates on phone thief

A phone thief was made the laughing stock of May Pen and surrounding areas in Clarendon after a man from whom he attempted to rob a cellular phone urinated on him.

A phone thief was made the laughing stock of May Pen and surrounding areas in Clarendon after a man from whom he attempted to rob a cellular phone urinated on him.

The serious but comical incident occurred recently in the busy town centre.

Police have confirmed hearing about the incident but say they have received no official report on the matter. The cops also confirmed that there has been a recent upsurge in the cases of robbers grabbing phones and running off.

Information reaching THE WEEKEND STAR is that in a recent case, three men saw a middle-aged man walking with a BlackBerry phone in his hand.

It is understood the robbers came beside him and then one grabbed the phone and they started to run. To their surprise, however, the man pulled his firearm and fired three shots in the air and shouted "STOP".

THE WEEKEND STAR heard that the man who had the phone fell to the ground, while his other frightened cohorts quickly found hiding places. The man is said to have walked up to the alleged phone grabber who was still lying on the ground and reportedly said: "You a phone grabber, gi me mi phone".

As the thief quickly handed over the instrument, the man asked: "Weh you want me do pump two shot pon you or urinate pon you?"

As people began laughing, the culprit replied: "Urinate pon me sar, urinate pon me".

As the laughter grew, the man urinated on the phone grabber and turned and walked away.

No one could say how the phone grabber disappeared so quickly afterwards but many suspect it will be quite a while before he returns to the May Pen square

via jamaica-star.com

Japan to China

Want to know how to get from Japan to China?  Google Maps has your solution.  Click to see the full sized image and check out item 43.

Places Where I Never Want to Live

Pottiesville Road, Bumpass, Virginia

Cow Tipping for a New Age

This is the 21st Century, and technology has changed our lives.  While we do many of the same things our forebears did in the 20th Century, we do them with 21st Century sensibilities.

While urban areas expand, and rural areas shrink, city has become the new country and parking lots have become the new fields of mischief.  With fewer cows to tip, ornery youth seek out new unsuspecting targets upon which they can act out their mischief.

Enter the Smart Car.  It's called a "smart" car because it obviously isn't pretty.  While we have been able to overcome many prejudices, our prejudice against ugly is alive and well.

These ugly little beasts are the urban cow--waiting to be toppled over by urban cowboys.

click for larger image

Unbelievably, young ruffians are actually tipping Smart Cars.

In Amsterdam, Dutch punks take it a step further by tipping them into bodies of water.

Smart car tipping should not be attempted at home or with a neighbor's car.