On a recent trip to Wal-Mart, I was shocked and embarrased to see Hannah Montana's new concert candy in various shapes with super realistic flesh tones. The worst offenders are the guitar and microphone--but the microphone is the one that caught my eye. I captured this image with my Motorola Razor:
Luckily my son thought it looked like a finger. I think the worst thing about this "treat" is the picture of Hannah. Doesn't Disney pre-screen these things?
Later, I looked up Hannah Montana candy on google and found the offending guitar on strollerderby:
I resolve to lose weight by donating 75% of my food budget to fund the enlightened one's public works initiatives.
I resolve to live a "green" life (other than being envious of the pretend happiness of stupid bumpkin Christians). I will live a green life by giving up my car so I can afford to buy compact florescent bulbs for every light fixture in my house.
Further, I will go "greener" through water conservation whereby I will only shower on Wednesday's and Saturdays. On in-between days, I will make liberal use of hand sanitizer which is still more sanitary than the French.
I resolve to not beat up elderly women who disagree with my political views. Pushing them to the floor is not technically beating them up unless I kick them too, right?
I resolve to stop whining about the past 8 years and start whining about something new in addition to the supreme court and the Democrat's non-filibuster-proof majority.
I resolve to marry anyone or anything I choose regardless of stupid states and their stupid laws because God wants me to be happy even though I don't believe in Him. Broccoli and I WILL live happily ever after.
I resolve to hug a terrorist and let him vent--even if I don't understand his language or his culture.
I resolve to make conservative media and conservative blogs a hate-crime because I hate them.
Rednecks have come a long way from the shotgun toting, beer bellied prehistorics you may imagine from Deliverance. Today's redneck is inventive and technologically saavy as evidenced by the wildly popular Deer Butt Doorbell. The truth is, Mountain Living has gone Mainstream. If the HillBilly in your life can read, or if he just likes to look at pictures, subscribe to Modern Redneck Magazine.
Packed with insightful articles, tips, tricks, and "Daisy Duke" shorts, Modern Redneck is the perfect gift for the bumkin who has everthing. This month's Modern Redneck features and exclusive interview with Miley Cyrus. In never before seen pictures, Miley exposes her farmer's tan. See it here for the first time:
We also feature an "everything you need to know" examination of Hi-Definition theater, to include must have Hi-Def movies, like Deliverance. You haven't heard such a life-like pig squeal since cousin Elbert brought his newly abducted friend over.
Maybe you married a city girl and she can't tell an oak leaf from a poison oak leaf. When you go camping, you need P.O.O.-- Portable On-demand Outhouse. This pop-up pooper makes the perfect private place to pinch a pod. Order yours from Forever Montana.
We announce last months winner who will be featured on My Big Redneck Wedding. This months contest winner will be entered in the Spittoon Olympics.
Finally, the popular "How To" section gives you a step-by-step guide to making your own animal butt doorbell. Not only do we show you the popular Deer Butt Doorbell, but wait until you see the "no soliciting" skunk butt doorbell with realistic skunk spray.
I wish I had all the good ideas. I don't. So I am really glad there are other creative people out there, like the guy who invented the Deer Butt Doorbell. I went back to the internet and found the original website. Do you want to know how to make your own Deer Butt Doorbell and other popular redneck art? Find out how here.
Having pondered the DBD, I could only imagine the sound it would make. Click the doorbell below to find out.
If you have trouble with the above flash object, Click here, then press the doorbell button to find out.