Mockazine

Lame: From the Beltway to Broadway

Disastrous foreign policy,

A stimulus that has failed,

Outrageous antics from Congressional Class Clown, Alan Grayson,

Double-digit unemployment,

A bloated healthcare bill that neither lowers premiums nor covers all of the uninsured,

And a Broadway play re-made into a movie . . .

Congress is: Lame!

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And that's just Act 1.  In Act 2, look for Cap-N-Tax as a precursor to full-on Socialism.

For more information on the Healthcare Disaster waiting to happen, check out this report by Quipster.

Curious Case of Benjamin's Butt

Poor strange Benjamin--he was born different from other guys.  His is a story so strange, so compelling, that a movie had to be made.  You see, Benjamin was born with gluteal fusion -- he had no gluteal cleft.  Rather, he was born unipygous, with one single buttock.  

Unable to eat since he had no alimentary exit, Benjamin lived on a liquid diet.  He would always be frail in comparison to other boys.  Afraid of being picked on by other kids in the locker room, Benjamin avoided P.E. in school.  He would learn that the world can be a cruel, hard, place when you have no butt crack.

The Curious Case of Benjamin's Butt is a story of endurance in the face of adversity and difficult circumstances.  Let Benjamin's story inspire you to great courage and great kindness to your fellow man.

Rated NC-17 (No Crack), The Curious Case of Benjamin's Butt will open this Christmas Season.

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Drill Here, Drill Now - the Musical

Based on the smash hit campaign of Newt Gingrich and the song of the same name by Aaron Tippin, Drill Here, Drill Now - the Musical, will hit theaters this fall.  The story follows the plight of a Palin-esque, small town American woman who has the audacity to go against cutural mores and buy a tank of gas for her SUV so she can go hunting.  Along the way, she encounters a conservative looking for a heart, a liberal looking for a brain, and a preacher looking for courage.  Together, they decide to go to Arizona to speak to the wizard of AZ, an fatherly man known for his courage, heart, and brain.  With his help, they will fight Pelosia, the wicked witch of the West Coast, free the country's oil, and make it legal to "Drill Here, Drill Now, Pay Less."

 

Hold your breath as they cross the Obama Poppy Fields.  Cringe in your seat when they flee from the winged Tree-Huggers.  Drill Here, Drill Now - the Musical is coming to theaters near you in the fall of 2008.

Image credits:  Sara Palin from patriotroom.com, Newt Gingrich from SavetheGOP.com, Pelosi from Moonbattery.com, McCain from declareyourselfnow.blogspot.com, and Mama Mia poster from nyc-tkts.com 

A Tough Road To Ho

Like her mentor, Madonna, Britney Spears has learned that the best way to revitalize her droopy, sagging career is to re-invent herself.  This summer, look for her star in a new movie.  "A Tough Road to Ho" stars Brit as a young woman living in the hills of Alabama trying to make it as a waitress at the local greasy spoon.  Unable to make any money, she turns finds a few tricks--up her sleeve.  Even so, she finds the hillbillies of Alabama unwilling to spend money on what they can take for free.

A Tough Road to Ho is a tragic, heartwarming tale that is sure to leave you almost as sick to your stomach as Brit's real life.  Co-starring Hugh Grant, this story is comparable to "Pretty Woman" only it's not as pretty.

A Tough Road to Ho, in theaters May, 2008

We wish Brit good luck in this new phase of her career.  She needs this to take off if she is going to help support her sister and the new baby.

Photo Credits:  Britney Spears, the road is taken from the "Roads & Highways" picture collection from Eyewire images.

The Inconvenient Truth

Pseudo-Documentaries are big business.  Producers and directors spend a lot of time and money picking facts to make a good piece of multimedia propaganda.  "Super Size Me" was a great movie, but it was staged.  The intellectually honest have to admit that Michael Moore spins his work too. 

Two-thousand years ago, Pilate asked, "What is truth?"  Today we ask the same questions.

More to the point, today we try to convince people not to ask the question in the first place.

Do you want to know the truth about global warming, talk to an expert. 

Do you want to know the truth about an inconvenient truth?  Look at how much weight the former vice president has gained.  Hello, we could feed a small country!!!! 

Seriously, if you want serious, why are you on "Mockazine"?  Click the thumbnail for the larger image, then head to McDonalds for a happy meal.