The Starbucks lady is lonely and she needs someone with whom to talk. This company that sells community as much as they sell coffee, hides sad lonely frowns behind the plastic smiles of the baristas. The disguise is convincing and the actors are good, but I see through it.
Think about this: When you visit McDonald's, you order "Number 1 with cheese and iced tea." With 7 words, you have ordered your entree, customized condiments, a side order, and a drink--a whole meal just the way you like it. Compare that to Starbucks where you can order an Iced Venti Apple Chai Tea Infusion (6 words) to just get a drink; a good drink, mind you, but not a whole meal. Is there any single menu item whose name is composed of less than three words?
Add to this the fact that the lonely barista will correct your order 98.67% of the time: i.e. you order a Large Green Tea Frappaccino to be told that it is a Venti Green Tea Blended Creme but if you order a Venti Green Tea Blended Creme, you will hear the barista call out a Green Tea Frappaccino. Then the barista will ask if you want whipped cream on it.
If the Frappaccino comes with whipped cream, why else would they ask if you want whipped cream? The lonely barista wants needs you to converse. They long, all day, for someone to ask, "What is the difference between a latte and a machiato?" They hope for someone to order small, medium, or large so they can feel connected to the real world, and just a little bit superior.
So do the baristas a favor; give them something to smile about. Next time you are at Starbucks, order a Venti Green Tea Frappaccino, then make the following changes:
- No whipped cream
- Oh, and go light to reduce the sugar
- And let's make it hot
- But I would like to substitute creamer for the cream base
- And let's substitute the coffee of the day for the green tea
- I should change the size to "tall" to reduce the caffeine
- And add 1 packet of sugar
- Add the flavored syrup of your choice, such as hazelnut
- Finally say, "Never-mind, that doesn't sound so good after all. I will just have a danish."
Your barista will love you for it.