One can hardly watch television for a 10 minutes without seeing a commercial for new medicine. Each of these commercials will give you the commercial name of the medicine and then the chemical name. I am perplexed by the commercial names. Who comes up with these things? For instance, with the plethora of ED medicines, how did an Osteoporosis preventative get the name, Boniva?
If I were in charge of pharmaceutical names, I would do things different:
Once monthly Boniva would do what it's name implies: Build Bone Mass. Do you suffer from
Limp Di ED? Take once monthly Boniva. When you get that once monthly opportunity, you will be ready.
Of course, the question still remains, why separate tubs?
Abilify sounds more like a verb than a medicine. It should mean, "to confer an ability upon another." It would be used in a sentence this way: "If I am ever going to go pro, I need someone like Shaq to abilify me to play basketball." or "Girlfriend, if you ever want to get married, someone needs to abilify you to cook." or even "Take this little blue pill and it will abilify you to have an erection."
Another verb, requip should mean "re-equip". Suggested usage: "The tire went bad and now we need to requip the car with a good one." or "If you still have restless leg syndrome, we need to requip your bed with velcro straps to keep you in place through the night."
Obviously this should be the name for plumping lip enhancement treatments like you see in this picture:
I think medicines should be named in accordance with their effects, or at least their side effects:
This "restless leg syndrome" medicine obviously can not be called Leg-Relax or Calmlegs so instead of looking to the intended effect, we can create a cool commercial name from the side effects. One such side effect is an increase in gambling or sexual urges--my first impulse was Gambleho, but I decided Casinho had the same impact with less "punch".
Viagra, Cialis, Levitra Boniva, Erectis, Penisillan:
It should be obvious; and with these names, it would be.
Photo Credits: Cialis