Mockazine

How Dogs Do It

My 9 month old Chi is just a little shy.  He hides under the table to #2 when he's able.

There is something else he does about which he is not shy. Watch the video and see the little guy:

Fortunately he is easily distracted.

Medicine's Misnomers

One can hardly watch television for a 10 minutes without seeing a commercial for new medicine.  Each of these commercials will give you the commercial name of the medicine and then the chemical name.  I am perplexed by the commercial names.  Who comes up with these things?  For instance, with the plethora of ED medicines, how did an Osteoporosis preventative get the name, Boniva?

If I were in charge of pharmaceutical names, I would do things different:

Boniva

Once monthly Boniva would do what it's name implies: Build Bone Mass.  Do you suffer from Limp Di ED?  Take once monthly Boniva.  When you get that once monthly opportunity, you will be ready.

Of course, the question still remains, why separate tubs?

Abilify:

Abilify sounds more like a verb than a medicine.  It should mean, "to confer an ability upon another."  It would be used in a sentence this way:  "If I am ever going to go pro, I need someone like Shaq to abilify me to play basketball." or "Girlfriend, if you ever want to get married, someone needs to abilify you to cook." or even "Take this little blue pill and it will abilify you to have an erection."

Requip:

Another verb, requip should mean "re-equip".  Suggested usage: "The tire went bad and now we need to requip the car with a good one." or "If you still have restless leg syndrome, we need to requip your bed with velcro straps to keep you in place through the night."

Lipitor:

Obviously this should be the name for plumping lip enhancement treatments like you see in this picture:

I think medicines should be named in accordance with their effects, or at least their side effects:

Mirapex CasinHo:

This "restless leg syndrome" medicine obviously can not be called Leg-Relax or Calmlegs so instead of looking to the intended effect, we can create a cool commercial name from the side effects.  One such side effect is an increase in gambling or sexual urges--my first impulse was Gambleho, but I decided Casinho had the same impact with less "punch".

Viagra, Cialis, Levitra Boniva, Erectis, Penisillan:

It should be obvious; and with these names, it would be.

Photo Credits: Cialis

The Camera Thief

Occasionally something happens that is both serious and funny.  For the first time in my "blog life" I am simultaneously posting on both Mockazine and But Seriously.

About 6 weeks after our home was invaded, my wife's place of work was hit by a stupid criminal.  He came into the building around 5 am to disable and steal two video cameras.  In the process, he gave a pretty good picture of his face.

If you have any information about this idiot, please leave a comment.  If you do not want your comment to be posted publically, I will honor your wishes.

Obama-Wright Dilemma--Solved

If Barack Obama has known Jeremiah Wright for 20 years, and if Wright is a mentor to Obama, and if Barack Obama has never heard Wright say the things that are being broadcast on national news, then there can only be one explanation:

Obama sleeps through Church.

Mary Ann, that's not ginger.

I was astonished tonight to see a news report about Dawn Wells of Gilligan's Island.  Apparently as she headed home from her 69th birthday party, she was caught driving under the influence--not of alcohol, but of Marijuana. 

I asked my wife which Gilligan's Island star she thought was caught with Pot.  Of course, she said Ginger.  Initially, she was surprised as I that it was Mary Jane Ann.  As we thought about it, the shock faded to understanding when we realized that Mary Ann was a farm girl. . .

Mockazine investigative reporters looked back in time to see if there is any other evidence Mary Ann's dalliances with Mary Jane.  Examine these provocative photos:

Here she is on the farm:

And again, a little older, in an interview with Sherwood Schwartz, creator of Gilligan's Island.  Schwartz was quoted as saying, "You want this doobie, don't you?"

Do you need more proof?  Check out this video from CircusHour.com

Oh Mary Ann, I never knew . . .

Fans of Dawn Wells can network together, view pictures, get biography information, and more at DawnWells.net.

Photo Credits:  Mary Ann, Schwartz and Wells, MJ Leaf, MJ Plant, MJ Bush

Images are not used for monitary gain.  Links are provided to respective owners.  Links and images will be removed upon request of the rightful owner.

On Civility in Political Debate

Up until recently, the Democratic debates and primaries have been civilized; VERY civilized.  So civilized, they have been downright booring:

Obama:  I think everyone should have healthcare.

Clinton:  I agree with Senator Obama.  I think we should end the war in Iraq.

Obama:  I agree with Senator Clinton. I think blah, blah, blah.

Clinton:  I agree blah, blah, blah.

Obama:  It's not easy being green.

Clinton:  Hmmmm.

Obama:  Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.

How many delegates does Sesame Street have anyway?

This week, however, the gloves came off.  The candidates are starting to act like they are REALLY serious about winning.

Obama's staff:  Clinton is a monster.

Clinton's staff:  Obama is like, like . . . Ken Starr!

Congratulations to both candidates.  Senator Clinton, you are still welcome to use my campaign slogan suggestions.

Picture credits: Kermit and Piggy, Obama and Clinton, Piggy picture

You Can Live the Obama Dream

Freshman Senator Barack Obama has made quite a name for himself.  Although anyone can run for president, he as run an outstanding campaign.  He has energized the youth vote in a way no other candidate has for years.  He secured the endorsement of high profile politicians and people of great influence like Oprah Winfrey. 

Truly, he is living the American Dream.  Even his wife is proud of America.

Do you find yourself caught up in the Obama craze?  Do you wish you could step into his shoes and live the dream yourself?  Pretty soon you will be able to, if you own an XBOX 360.  Coming April 1st, from Mockazine productions, you can be a Barack Star!

Rated "D" for Democrat

Photo Credits:  Barack Obama, Guitar Hero, XBox logo