One can hardly watch television for a 10 minutes without seeing a commercial for new medicine. Each of these commercials will give you the commercial name of the medicine and then the chemical name. I am perplexed by the commercial names. Who comes up with these things? For instance, with the plethora of ED medicines, how did an Osteoporosis preventative get the name, Boniva?
If I were in charge of pharmaceutical names, I would do things different:
Once monthly Boniva would do what it's name implies: Build Bone Mass. Do you suffer from Limp Di ED? Take once monthly Boniva. When you get that once monthly opportunity, you will be ready.
Of course, the question still remains, why separate tubs?
Abilify sounds more like a verb than a medicine. It should mean, "to confer an ability upon another." It would be used in a sentence this way: "If I am ever going to go pro, I need someone like Shaq to abilify me to play basketball." or "Girlfriend, if you ever want to get married, someone needs to abilify you to cook." or even "Take this little blue pill and it will abilify you to have an erection."
Another verb, requip should mean "re-equip". Suggested usage: "The tire went bad and now we need to requip the car with a good one." or "If you still have restless leg syndrome, we need to requip your bed with velcro straps to keep you in place through the night."
Obviously this should be the name for plumping lip enhancement treatments like you see in this picture:
I think medicines should be named in accordance with their effects, or at least their side effects:
This "restless leg syndrome" medicine obviously can not be called Leg-Relax or Calmlegs so instead of looking to the intended effect, we can create a cool commercial name from the side effects. One such side effect is an increase in gambling or sexual urges--my first impulse was Gambleho, but I decided Casinho had the same impact with less "punch".
Occasionally something happens that is both serious and funny. For the first time in my "blog life" I am simultaneously posting on both Mockazine and But Seriously.
About 6 weeks after our home was invaded, my wife's place of work was hit by a stupid criminal. He came into the building around 5 am to disable and steal two video cameras. In the process, he gave a pretty good picture of his face.
If you have any information about this idiot, please leave a comment. If you do not want your comment to be posted publically, I will honor your wishes.
If Barack Obama has known Jeremiah Wright for 20 years, and if Wright is a mentor to Obama, and if Barack Obama has never heard Wright say the things that are being broadcast on national news, then there can only be one explanation:
I was astonished tonight to see a news report about Dawn Wells of Gilligan's Island. Apparently as she headed home from her 69th birthday party, she was caught driving under the influence--not of alcohol, but of Marijuana.
I asked my wife which Gilligan's Island star she thought was caught with Pot. Of course, she said Ginger. Initially, she was surprised as I that it was Mary Jane Ann. As we thought about it, the shock faded to understanding when we realized that Mary Ann was a farm girl. . .
Mockazine investigative reporters looked back in time to see if there is any other evidence Mary Ann's dalliances with Mary Jane. Examine these provocative photos:
Here she is on the farm:
And again, a little older, in an interview with Sherwood Schwartz, creator of Gilligan's Island. Schwartz was quoted as saying, "You want this doobie, don't you?"
Freshman Senator Barack Obama has made quite a name for himself. Although anyone can run for president, he as run an outstanding campaign. He has energized the youth vote in a way no other candidate has for years. He secured the endorsement of high profile politicians and people of great influence like Oprah Winfrey.
Truly, he is living the American Dream. Even his wife is proud of America.
Do you find yourself caught up in the Obama craze? Do you wish you could step into his shoes and live the dream yourself? Pretty soon you will be able to, if you own an XBOX 360. Coming April 1st, from Mockazine productions, you can be a Barack Star!